fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
