Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize