Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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