first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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