doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
