Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
