Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
