I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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