windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
