ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
