If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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