Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
