Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
