We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
