I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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