it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
