May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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