Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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