I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
