oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
