the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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