My cat gives me a boner
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The uberlube is also flammable
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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