Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
