She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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