It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
