OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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