yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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