For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize