it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm at about main and main street
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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