so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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