Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
