I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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