you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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