So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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