hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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