We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
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like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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