Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
