I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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