Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize