Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize