I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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