I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize