Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
