How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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