New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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