it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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