if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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