It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
