the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Two words: nipple clamps
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