so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
