im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
