I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Green mimosas i think yes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
