there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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