I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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