So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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