I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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