...so i touched it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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