I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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