How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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