Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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