i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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