Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
