she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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