i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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