I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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