Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
