i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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