i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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