so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i believe in u and ur pee
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize