I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
