I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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