apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
