I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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