I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
