how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my shit smells like andre
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
